So things are better, way better. We talked yesterday, on-call after not talking for the whole day, not whole whole day, as in I did ask her on WhatsApp later in the evening
“When is the best time for you to talk?”
She said “11:15”
I did plan to not continue the conversation but I couldn’t resist. Whatever it is, I really like her. I asked her how was her day, where is she and what is she doing.
She talked to me and continued the conversation. I am not very well, throat infection and feeling very tired with studies and an upcoming competition, just out of energy. She asked how I am and I said not feeling very well to which she asked if its due to the throat or us.
I said both and said I hope it gets better soon, that I hope we are able to sort it and by sorting I mean together or separated.
To that she said this, “Together, I hope”
I called her when I was done with work and we talked, I asked what did she think and she said that she understands that she was not paying enough attention here, to me, to this relationship.
She says I keep her sane. She said as much as she would prefer to be able to do work all day and not let her feelings affect her work, that can’t happen. She also mentioned how happy she felt when she saw my text. She said that she did her work the whole day but it was very dry. Her energy was low during the day.
She likes to understand my science concepts and she likes the teasing and other things in this relationship.
She said that our local language that I speak is bad and that I am a little too cheesy but she would like to crib to me, crib with me, complain to me, about all of this rather than stay away from me. She asked for another chance and that things will be better.
I did give her another chance. I asked her to be more open, for us to be more open to each other. And that I don’t expect a lot from her but there are a few things that make me happy and they are small every day things that I make very clear, all of which would make me happy.
She agreed to it and also said that she believes that we rushed into the relationship and that she would like us to take a step back. In the sense, she doesn’t want to use such heavy words like ‘love’ until we feel comfortable. And I had no problem. I agreed with her.
We did talk normally after this for a few minutes and then slept.
The next morning, I was not feeling good to go to college and she had taken a day off from her college so we were chatting, and she says this:
“Hey, you know what, I did say that we should take a few steps back but
I love u
I do. “
So all these incidents are fine, but what I really want to talk about is how I feel,
a day has passed and she asked us to start with a clean slate, and things, as I sense, have been better, it is actually too soon to say but I feel good, and I really hope she feels good too. I want her to. I wish she does.
For some reason, one part of me argues that I have conditioned myself to feel good whenever I think of her or talk to her.
You know what, I don’t know and I don’t care. I know I love her and she feels the same for me. I am happy today and she seems too and that is what matters the most.
This is the ring she gave me and I always keep it close to me. The day I keep it aside, she will be history for me.
Today I love her and she loves me.